Lee Daniel's 'The Butler' Is America's Story- Through the intimately raw Life-story of a Black Butler

Just had the opportunity to watch the first day release (Jan 14) on Red Box, The Butler with Forest Whitaker and Oprah. We made sure to get it before all rentals were unavailable. It is one of the BEST, soul-wrenching, life-joggling films I have ever seen. Not only does it tell the story of a black man who was a devoted Butler for 20+ years serving many presidents but it captures the world as it was in a time of racial indifference, hatred, violence, and the evolving movement of the US. Starting from his youth as a slave all the way throughout his life as a husband and father, the paths his sons took, the struggles of his wife (Oprah), and his own self-realizations from what he knew as a young man trying to find a way to survive and live in a world that rejected him to a well-lived man seeing the world change before his eyes and seeing the progressive results of the fight many blacks lived and died for so that one day we could see a man of color be our nation's president. It's a story that you will be engrossed in and once you're done you'll feel glad and proud to have seen it. 

After watching and turning back to "normal" tv it was like coming out of a trance. I was back in reality again...and what do I witness on tv, the same ole bullshit we all see on an everyday basis, reality tv, drama, falseness, and delusion (because before poppin in the movie we were watching Bravo). And it made me think again how so much involved we are in our imaginations and stories we made up for our leisure entertainment. We may have forgotten about where this country has evolved from... We're still in a rough place but in no comparison to what our ancestors went through- all of us. It's not just black history it's all our history. Whether we were the opposers or the ones being opposed. Movies like this allow us to re-think many aspects of our lives: what we have, what we want, how we treat each other, how we feel about ourselves....understand the importance of humility and humbleness. It touched me; what I'm trying to say, and I wouldn't recommend a movie unless I felt it was important to pass along. I need to do my duty (as we all do) by letting others know about work of art that is mind-turning and valuable, not just because I'm black but because as an American citizen it affects all of us.
 
Rent or BUY The Butler on DVD. It is available today!

Billboards Music Awards: BOOTIES RUNNING THE GAMUT: Nicki Minaj Performs "High School" Wth Weezy As The Prop

The Wilder, The Racier, The Better.   

It just feels like it goes too far…  

It feels like a scene from Player’s Club or one of those back in the mid-late 90's stripper on a pole movies…I’m very surprised at Nicki for wanting to do a performance like that. All this attention on her derriere is getting more press and attention than her rap game. Where in the fine print did it say …and at some point you will need to let your sexuality become the focus for your musical career? Where did talent become compromised and sexuality became the only source of selling one’s craft? If it’s going to be there, which it is, then let it emphasis your talent. It just disgusted me as a young woman because I feel like I see it every day. Women objectified every day and we’re supposed to be “empowering” ourselves. We’re taking a purposeful step and confusing it with something else. Bouncing your ass in front of a camera lens in a guy’s lap doesn’t necessarily register as a strong, intelligent, hard-working, and driven woman. It looks like a parody. Wayne was looking like he appreciated the gesture immensely but the last I checked they weren’t even studying each other “on that level”, so maybe there’s something I don’t know. I’m not into all that kind of “news”. Males and women who are fond of the posterior are the only ones who were digging that booty shake. Her bending over and sticking her hand in between her legs did it for me. I’m at home watching this with my family and it mortified me to sit next to my mother and we’re watching this garbage together. She was like, What the h*ll is this?!!! I’m still wondering how a performance like this was even acceptable. After talking one day with one of my friends she tells me Nicki has changed and wasn’t the same from the Nicki that came out on the scene. Because I haven’t been following her I didn’t notice the difference. But now that my eyes are opened to paying attention to details of that sort – yea, there’s a difference. The whole Barbie image is more prevalent now. I think Hollywood is a trap. Give it time and you will see a change in someone from the time they go in and stay in for 20 years or less.

NBC's "The Voice" from last night

Absolutely enjoyed The Voice on NBC tonight with new members on the panel: Shakira and Usher. Shakira really fits in with the guys and it's kool. My mother asked me if she was better than Christina and honestly I feel that Shakira connects more. Both women are secure and strong female music Artists. So far the sass and spunk is infectious. Great performances too! Who caught Usher's slip up on Nashville being a state?!! Too funny he couldn't stop laughing. Blake is actually very funny too. Shakira is a great talker, knowing exactly what to say to reel 'em in. Great introduction.

I was emotional for two particular contestants: the 16 year old Caucasian girl who said she was teased for her "crooked" teeth and no one really knew she could sing and the black guy who's mother has lung cancer and at most has 6 months left to live. So touching and heartbreaking...his tears broke my heart. She was able to be there though and was yelling for him all the way when Usher turned his chair around. Very happy moment. The girl's name was Danielle and she is so cute with her blonde hair. Very sweet girl. This is one of the things that drives me crazy and probably because I experienced bullying, isolation, condemnation, and the likes in my youth. How is it that a girl like her could be treated so badly?!! How, as a society, do we choose who's "worthy" and who's not. What gives us the right to do that shit? Because of the crap she put up with she resulted in singing only to herself, in her room, and it wasn't until a Thanksgiving when she sang to her whole family did they realize this child had a gift. There are people out here right now who have amazing talents who felt the need to hide it for fear of something...

Anyways the show was bomb and you should definitely catch it tomorrow night as well. It was tough switching between it and Dancing With The Stars which was also excellent. Music is definitely a major part of my life, all of our lives. The dancing and the singing makes me happy because maybe that's what I secretly want to. The premiere of the show I missed with Kelly Pickler from American Idol. At the end there was a snippet for viewers to vote and I saw her. She is a bad ass dancer! Especially tonight with her partner Deric. Insane. Never knew the girl had it in her. She can sing and now she can dance! It continues tomorrow so I'll be tuning in then too. 

One of the hardest realizations...

One of the hardest realizations to come to grips with is realizing you may be stuck with your own ideas, thoughts, ambitions, hopes, dreams, aspirations...

Jealousy is not good. Envy is even worse, but when you've lived your life without a huge support system naturally it happens. Mean spirited doesn't seem so "mean" when you're hurting inside. When it doesn't seem to get better.

Everyone has a story. A past. A Future hopefully too. Do we spend time actually learning about each others' stories, our pasts, why we could be the way we are? Everyone is so busy doing things. So busy and less focused on what's happening right before their eyes.

Maybe being busy is a way to not have to think about our pains or maybe it's a way to ignorantly turn a blind eye to what we don't want to understand because it challenges our beliefs.
We shouldn't be so busy, so selfish, so mindless to what each other is doing...
The worst can happen and everything that seemed "fine" and perfect can just fall a part...then what?!!
Try living each day in the same routine fashion...it's the same as the day before, nothing new.
Try waking up each morning with a feeling that the weight of yesterday doesn't feel so heavy. That's God.
Whether your faith is strong, average, or doesn't exist at all, God is important in my day to day life.
My life is not typical, in my eyes, but maybe it is "normal" to many. That I don't know and somewhat afraid to find out.

In my younger years I was afraid, worried, self-conscious about what others thought of me. I am relieved to say now, it's not so bad. Some of you may gasp at this, but when a woman can wear a t-shirt, bra less to get the mail with walkers passing by in front of her house noticing her, as her chest flops all over the place, and it doesn't make an ounce of a difference... it is a far cry from those lonely childhood days when the world was a scary place, unknown, and intimidating. Do we become more secure and okay with ourselves as we get older? I'm starting to believe yes, in some ways we develop a sense of comfort in our own skin. In my case I am and I thought it would never happen.

There really isn't much to say about my life...who I am really. It's rather boring and I've told different people the same thing. I've confessed to the idea of actually writing my own story but really it would just be a lot of stuff that isn't pleasant to read. I was angry, very angry, and upset with who I was, where I was, why I was going through it, and had no one to express it to. A lot of lonely tears, and crying to sleep, just to get myself back together again and continue on.

Do you ever wonder why you're born into the family you're in? All the happy families out here I would've scorned you and rolled my eyes at the mere thought of your closeness. Now I love every bit of what you embody because more than ever it "matters". I was a kid then and kids are just trying to find their way. Figuring out who they are and what the hell this "living life" is all about. But the irony in me saying this is I've always felt family oriented, I just had a sucky dysfunctional one. There was nothing I could do about it. Just the way cards fell. I never knew how much "family" meant until these years later since my father passed April 2008. The distance, the detachment, the underlying issue that makes no damn sense whatsoever is the story of my life.

There is a right for me to say this when there has been no outpouring of love and support since his passing and whether my mother and I were doing alright. The ignorance that lies within the minds of the foolish...
I can't help but to think in the back of minds the thought are "well-off" is the reason for this, but that is so cold and cruel, don't you think? Who could think that way, but it is possible. We are not well-off...We are blessed by God to still be able to maintain despite the issues within an older house, despite the fact I'm jobless, despite the fact my mother is working for two, me and her, despite I'm almost 30 and still trying to figure out who the hell I am and what my purpose is...

Could my blog really be one last bit of hope? Maybe. Maybe it is just an idea thrown in the wind and I have these high hopes of its success. Yea, I want it to be worth the time and effort. I've spent basically every day since the idea of "bloggerviewing" popped into my head working on building it from the ground up. It is my claim to fame, what keeps me a float. It may seem confusing to some of you out there who wonder why doesn't she just go out or just pick up a small job around her way, but guess what, walk in my shoes. I'm still making up for lost time.

Writing is essentially ingrained in me for the many times I escaped from the emotional moments. Wore my right hand down so much from aggressively writing so fast for fear of forgetting that eventually carpal tunnel set in. Currently I'm unsure if it's fixed me 100% because I'm typing so much. I do notice my shoulder cap feeling sore and that has to not be a good sign. Using the same muscles every day. Now I stretch it hoping it helps. My left hand is slowly starting to show signs of carpal tunnel and I was told that it goes from one hand to another. "Hang in there lefty, just for a moment..." that's what I need to think because now is not the time for major medical issues. Surprised I made it so long without catching anything major. The last cold was back during the holidays.

It's important to pay attention to the little things... the "stupid" little things that are really the only importance worth living for. Who cares about celebrities and the latest break-up...what about what you're doing every day to make a difference. What have You done today that can make an impact in another life? It doesn't have to be much, but have you said Hi, or waved to a complete stranger? Have you said, Have a Good Day, addressing it to the public?, have you offered your skills and talents to someone who needed it? It's not just limited to these few things. There are many ways of giving back without feeling you're being exposed or put in a vulnerable position. Even if you do feel that way, just do it anyway, it's a fulfilling thing to feel that you can't buy or obtain anywhere else.

At the end of the day even though I'm sensitive and emotional sometimes, I really don't give a damn if who I am is not good enough to someone else. I'm good enough in the eyes of God to be here and live. If I'm here then I have purpose and any of you out there who have been made to feel you don't have purpose, wake up now! Even if you don't see what your efforts will bring in the long-run don't give up on your gut-feeling to continue. You're meant to do it and no one has the right to tell you otherwise. It's tough, very very hard, depending on your circumstances but believe it will all come to fruition. Just Believe.