There Is No Place For You With Love. Her Story Has To Be Told. Listen To Her.

There are no words to describe someone who cannot be happy for you. Who says the closest people in your life cannot be the meanest, cruelest, most unforgiving, and unrelenting. Every day you wake up to realize you have been living with the same person who can't even say Good Morning or Good Night to you the night before, unless you said it. Has a problem with wherever you are and complains about your presence in every space you share with them. Gets defensive and combative often when you question anything they say to you or when you inquire about them. This hidden, secretive, untrustworthy side to them you know exists but they deny it. This person cannot admit to it. Telling all their private behaviors will expose them. 

But you know. You can't help but to know after many years of living with them. They reject the notion you know anything about them. I guess it makes sense. Do they know anything about you? Yes and No. Know enough to criticize, condemn, demean. Know enough to use it against you if necessary. But never to expose them. They are flawless, never wrong, and not weak. To show it is to be less than, rather than above. It is their personal strength to stand over others and feel powerful and strong. Knowing they have control over everyone and everything. No, exposing themselves will be disastrous! No longer have power. Can't move in the shadows and do what they want without you knowing. Can't lie knowing you don't even know the truth. Telling you what they want you to know and get away with deceit.  

No. they don't know you. They know what they need to find ways to use you. You don't matter. You don't exist. No pay, just labor. Use you to run around and make life easy for them. Anytime you come around they entertain anything you say to them but are waiting you to finish to tell you to do something. Did you hear me? Did you hear a word I said? In your mind, scared to speak out loud for fear of what they will do. The temperament is instant and raging. The mouth is reckless and ruthless. It tears away at your innards and depraves your soul. Words cut like knives. The hatefulness in every word. Do you even care about me? Do you even love me? Scariest thought to think. The fear in the idea. Who will love me if you don't? Loving myself is not enough. I have nowhere to go. No one to confide in to care about me. I am alone. You taught me "Love doesn't exist in this home". You are born to serve me. To make sure I am content. Nothing else do I want or need of you. Your existence is only for me to use at my will. No one is going to love you but me.

How do I view my life? Who am I? What is My Worth? Sleeping Beauty in the castle with the dragon below. Who will save her? Where is her Prince? Cinderella in her home. Tending to the cinders by the fireplace with ashes on her clothes and body. Standing over the sink filled with water and soap. Day and Night cleaning the silverware. Washing the dishes. Singing over the sink words that sometimes makes sense and other times don't. 13 years. 11 years just the 2 of us. Just the 2 of us. The Mighty Pair. Everything to convince me we are a team "we". What I lie. We means "me". We means "you" do this for me. There never was a team. No duo. No partnership. Nothing. Born into this world as Nothing to you. 

Left me to figure it out when I needed you the most. Stayed away from me when I waited for you. Waited for you to love me. Waited for you to care about me. Waited for you to change. Wasted years. Wasting my time. My Youth gone. The days of carefree, hope & wonder, excitement for what lies ahead-The Future, is gone. You crushed my dreams. Confusing my aspirations with your own. Expecting me to be You. Living my life like it is yours. Never fully accepting I Am Not You. Never Been You & Never Will Be, You. To Be Anyone But You Is A Disgrace. It Is Shameful. You Turn The Other Way. You break me down and shatter my soul. Leaving me there to perish and die. Sometimes you "care" and other times not. Broke me down with your hatred and left me there shattered and broken.

Look All Around. What Do I See? The World Staring Back At Me Serenely. The Image of Perfection. The False Perception of Happiness & Joy. It Looks Sweet. Joyful. Beautiful. Loving. But it's not. How do I know? Not at first. Took time. I can't bear listening to anyone tell me "it's not what it seems". It has to be better than not ever feeling loved. Loved for being who you are. The good and the bad. Young girl- Who told you they loved you? No one. Who meant it when they said it? No one. What does it mean to you when someone says, "Love You". It is just words. There are no meaning. Are you Unhappy? Yes. Do you mask your unhappiness with blocking out your pain? Yes. Do you feel Blessed for having the resilience to pick yourself up, smile, laugh, and dance? Yes. Without it I would not be here. How I lived this long is a miracle. This young girl is now a woman. Young but not as young as twenty. Learned a lot and grew a lot. She Still Feels Stuck. Held Back. Held Down. Chained. To The Past That Won't Let Her Go. She Still Has To Tell Her Story. She Still Has To Live Her Life. 

She Is Living Her Life And She Needs To Talk About It. You Need To Listen To Her. 

These Jobs Are Looking For What?!!?

Good evening Kool World.
Need to share this. Is there anyone else out here who thinks these part-time jobs are expecting TOO MUCH from candidates to join their 'team' and work for them?!??
It has become increasingly ( and my opinion only ) STUPID the run-around and lagging-on for the interview, the follow-up, and the offer itself!
Recently I applied for a job that was perfect for it's location. Went through the process: application online, resume, call-initiative (introduced myself to the manager/hiring mgr to tell her that I was interested in the position and completed the application and resume on Indeed.com), received a call from the hiring mgr to schedule interview day & time, spent an hour with the general manager who was also female for over an hour on a Sunday, basically told I fit exactly what they were looking for (I came prepared, had the expertise, and I'm hired for the position), expect to receive a call Friday while she coveres other information: background check etc. & I'm assuming references (and this is the kicker) and after she interviews other candidates. But of course I had nothing to worry about, because more than likely I would be offered the position.
During interviews not only am I being asked the tough questions, I do the same right back! From research online, there are questions you can ask the manager since you're going to be working under them or with them. In your search engine try 'QUESTIONS TO ASK DURING AN INTERVIEW'. About.com has Questions asked during job interviews and the answers you can adjust to your understanding for the job you're applying for.
I'm waiting anxiously for Friday but know that in retail the interviewer never offers a job or calls back when he/she says they will. And I was right. I call back Tuesday because Mondays are the days no one likes, chances of her being there are slim since Store Managers usually are getting prepared for the week and busy, or just plain not there. Reached her on Tuesday and was given the excuse of how busy it was in the store over the weekend, more than what they expected, she had to catch up with the interviews she had done, and apologized for not being on top of things but will let me know what to expect in the next couple of days, so call back then. I had no reason to think otherwise of what was happening. Her voice was all chipper and up-beat and 'cordial' -all the perfect makings of retail persona. So this is what happened...The following morning as I'm online I happen to check my mailbox and see a message from the company. I had applied at two different companies but they were under the same parent corporation. My mind impulsively assumes the 'you have not been selected for the position for this job' was for the other job I had applied for. Then something struck me and I re-read the message, paying close attention to the subject line. Not what I thought, it came from the company I very least expected. Wasn't I just on the phone with the store manager the other day and she said to contact her in the next couple days?!!? Yes.
With my mother being in retail she tells me don't think nothing of it, I've received those generic letters all the time, it doesn't mean anything. They're sent out automatically after so much time has passed. There's nothing that can be done about it. But still I couldn't help to wonder Why? and What the hell is going on? I just had an interview - why would an e-mail like that not be stopped from being sent to my mailbox? It's misleading and quite frankly f*cked up. I decided to give her a call the next day to be clear on what was going on, hoping it was an error and nothing to worry about.
You want to talk about played, bamboozled, mis-lead, lead-on, lied to, cheated, and set up for failure and false sense of hope! Tell me why with the most calm and courteous tone I could muster the answer I receive from this shady low-down individual is 'That's right, you have not been offered the position'. After waiting around, stalling, and believing there was a possibility, even from her lying false mouth that's all I receive as the end result. Did she not say, I am a direct person, I know what I like and what will work, and more than likely I'm hiring you for this position because I believe you will make a good fit. She gave her word up-front and center (and it meant NOTHING).
So I let her have it! But first I needed to know What did I not show that was not a 'good' fit since you (I addressed her) told me I would be offered the position, was what they were looking for, and had the expertise (her words). She tries to give the ole' spill -the truth is you were our runner up but after going through the interviewers we found that would better suit/fit our team for what we're looking for at this time. I'm even more purplexed, puzzled, whatever the hell you want to call it  because it was two-sided, contradictory, & absolute backwards nonsense.
Why worry at this point what I'll say? I didn't get offered the job. So I threw it all back in her direction exactly that.
IT WAS A LET-DOWN, DISSAPOINTMENT, AND DISCOURAGMENT AFTER SPENDING AN HOUR TALKING AND GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER, BEING CONSOLED THAT I HAD THE JOB, AND JUST NEEDED TO WAIT FOR THE CALL. I BELIEVED IT WAS FOR THE NEXT STEP IN THE PROCESS, NOT TO RECEIVE A GENERIC MESSAGE THAT I DIDN'T GET THE POSITION AS IF I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE TO MY NAME, SOME RANDOM PERSON WITH NO EXPERIENCE. I EXPECTED A PHONE CALL FROM YOU, NOT THAT. I CALLED BECAUSE I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT.
YOU SAID YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE DIRECT AND KNOW WHAT YOU WANT WHEN YOU SEE IT AND THAT'S WHAT I BELIEVED- WHAT YOU SAID. I'M ALSO DIRECT AND MEANT HOW MUCH I RESPECTED THE COMPANY AND WHAT IT STOOD FOR. I MEANT WHAT I SAID WHEN I WANTED TO WORK HERE. I LET A POTENTIAL JOB INTERVIEW GO BECAUSE I RELIED ON WHAT YOU DIRECTLY SAID TO ME BECAUSE YOU SOUNDED SINCERE...
And of course her reply was to defend herself. All that I didn't give a damn to hear... 'You Need to Understand 2x and it just fell on deaf ears! I can't remember anything else because her saying that shut me completely down. What I understand is everything I was told was a waste of my time and I'm presently without a job. At that point I wanted to curse her out, YOU'RE GOING BACK ON YOUR WORD AND NOT OFFERING ME THE JOB and you're telling me I NEED TO UNDERSTAND. Kiss my ass. That's all I felt. What annoys me is the competitiveness of these fly-by-night, simple, highschooler retailers out here trying to create the 'SUPER' Team to reach and exceed sales goals every day. If the location is suffering there's something wrong with what's going on inside the store (with management) and/or the traffic is sparse. No super team will make a difference. Not sure what is being saved AND now it's no concern of mine. There was no mention of 'commission' and that changes the dynamic in my opinion.  
So just to note to myself I inquire 'What are the chances of any positions opening up?' We're probably not going to be needing anyone else right now. You can apply again in the summer for any openings. Just the typical 'I-don't care' snootiness that is prominent where I live.
She ends the call with a rehearsed perked-up 'Your application will still be on file for the next 60 days and you have the opportunity to apply for other job openings'... blah blah blah in that sickingly annoying chipper, fake-ass, retail perfect voice that now sounds just as phony and two-faced as she is. I was like, yea, ok, hung up on her ass.
Now I'm back at square one. More determined & sharper than before.

Laws of Attraction- Monagomy or Hit It And Quit It

It's a rather complicated thing -Liking someone. It's easy for it to happen but the act of liking can be tricky since there's more involved than just being fascinated or turned on. Have you ever met someone and after talking to them or seeing them engage with others you were instantly smitten? We can relate to this and it happens ALL the time. As humans we have a need to bond. It would be so much easier & better if we liked someone and they equally showed similar interest. As we wake up from our fantasies we realize it's not that simple and quite unrealistic & unsatisfactory. It comes as a challenge and it must be earned.
So let me explain the earning part. If you've ever argued with someone and it felt like you were talking to a wall then this sums up the point. It is nearly impossible to be into someone without him/her feeling the same way because it hurts. I see this all the time in "going nowhere" relationships with us 20-30+ year olds. If I'm the only female on this green earth that says it I'm going to be the one to say, "If the guy doesn't like you he's not going to pursue you. If the chick doesn't like you she's not going to show any interest." It is truly and unfathomably that simple. We complicate things because we over-think all the time about everything. Trust me, life would be just as interesting and amazing if you just take things at face value. There is a difference between enjoying life and misinterpreting "drama" as having a good time. 

For two people to like each other they find something in common or of interest in the other that draws them together. When it's the opposite it is like Looney Tune's notorious skunk Pepe Le Pew and his reluctant apple of his eye, kitty Penelope Pussycat. Someone is literally chasing the other and it becomes a terrifying ordeal as the other tries to get as far away as possible -running for the hills. You can't just go after your crush, infatuation, or love-interest with the delusion you're going to get what you want. Unless you're shadowed by your own desire, you must earn their interest! 

Watching Millionaire Matchmaker

I actually understand why it’s important for women to be smart about who they  open their legs for. There are men out in this world who are perfectly ‘fine’ with sleeping with woman after woman, one after the other, and never commit to any. Generalizing I look at these types of men as irresponsible, ‘douche’ bags, who are not capable of going to the next step in their manhood. Then I think about it again and realize there are men in the world who are not made to be husbands and fathers, which is unfortunate. God created us all to need each other and to bond. But they truly just like the accessibility. Why it is important for women to not fall for their charms and bullshit is so she doesn’t ruin her life supposedly by getting pregnant by this type of man. She won’t have to worry excessively about him walking out and leaving her to raise the child on her own. Men like these are afraid and cowar from commitment for whatever reason. They will never claim monogamy.

If a woman doesn’t receive the commitment of monogamy from a man then he is not ‘marriage’ material. Marriage takes 2. If a man never says it or claims her as his priority anything that happens falls on her. People of today act as though this is ‘ancient’ and not modern, but I would like someone to explain why modern would mean women believing a man loves them and the minute there’s a difference in opinion or disagreement he bounces?!? Or why it’s the smart option to just ‘sleep around’ until the right one comes along –the Cinderella with the glass slipper syndrome or the Goldilocks and the Three Bears syndrome. By the time the right one comes along emotions have been pushed to the highest they can go- mistrust, dishonesty, bitterness, rebounding, and judgment that any hope of giving the RIGHT ONE a chance is nearly impossible. Then he/she has to worry about getting themselves ‘therapy’ for all the shit they went through or put themselves through because they did it completely wrong. Seems like the common issue these days.

No one is capable of loving or giving of themselves to another. There’s compromise and sacrifice that comes with loving someone else and sharing your life with them. When it’s all for the right reasons it doesn’t feel like you’re ‘giving up’ anything because both people are working together as one. I still believe in love and compatibility. Too many of us are meeting our complete opposites and incompatibles and believing it is ‘LOVE’ when it’s just our competitive sides wanting to ‘win the fight’. Conquering the opposing force, and it’s just fucking stupid. It’s not a video game where you can turn the power off and put the controller away. It’s real life with REAL consequences that can affect the rest of your life with court, money, and children. I see this ALL the time.

We have this need to defeat the odds and prove the wrong right. Sometimes, it is opposing because it’s not meant to be. What comes to mind also are age gaps like 10-15 years in between, 18 years old and a 20 something year old.  If two people come together and like each other, that’s their choice. They know what they’re getting themselves into. But it stays there unless proven otherwise. The minute it becomes serious will determine if the romp, tryst, liaison will last or continue. Once reality hits you realize, you need to stop ‘kidding’ yourself. What did you expect?!? What comes with age is perspective, priority, responsibility, and vision towards life that is not considered so strongly at a younger age. The older you get the more you realize the clock is ticking and how much time you have left. It’s always fun to do something unconventional and naughty for the looks it gives or the bad-ness it makes you feel, but at the end of the day the dream will end and you wake up. Life tells you that you got important things you need to do or your ass will be homeless, unemployed, and wondering what to do next.  

Just Some Mad Ass Kids

The way our parents grew up was different on how their parents raised them. The world was different. It was about “you don’t discuss this or that, you keep this to yourself, you don’t show this (express) yourself. They faced challenges and hardships that were extreme for their generation and time yet the world they once knew no longer exists. These kids who have grown up into parents are trying to raise their modern day children the way they were raised or lack thereof and it doesn’t 100% apply. Discipline is still discipline regardless and shouldn’t be skipped around, but I’m not talking about that. Kids have to learn a new set of skills on how to survive in the world they live in.

This is 2014, not 1950-something. I hear all the time about kids having “mental illness” which very much is possible with some of us. But I personally have talked to a few people who are in the same age bracket as me and we’ve all come to the conclusion that there is a gap in communication and understanding with us and our parents. We have been addressed by our loved ones as having “something wrong” with us when we openly and candidly spill our pains, sorrows, and frustrations with them. It’s dismissal and rejection that causes us to turn away believing maybe there is something wrong with us but more importantly we’re not received by those we care about in confidence and vulnerability. That leaves a scar that ones like us bear and continue to hold on to without any resolution.

I’m also looking on the other side of the coin to understand that perhaps it does take others who “get it” to support and connect with us because that’s the only way we’re going to be the best we can be in our lives-as mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, granddaughters and so forth. Maybe the generation gap is so large that it is impossible for our parents to be a source of help, hope, and security for us- it takes a little bit more. We may just have to help each other, instead of ripping each other a part YOLO-ing and middle finger up-ing each other. Turning our backs on each other and separating into our elitist groups of entitlement and superiority will be the death and destruction of the future of our children. The signs are there if we only pay attention to them and correct them while we still have time. If we’re not willing to do that then I guess we’re saying to hell with everyone including those we love.

It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks but it’s not too late to change the youth around us. Iyanla Vanzant speaks of “pathology” and how we continue a process of bad behaviors and hurtful tactics that we pass on to each other (potentially in our families). Ever since I learned of this term it is part of my dialog with discussing the perils of pain many of us continue to endure. If we don’t face our demons now then when will we? They will still be there affecting the lives of our (my generation) children and children’s children. There is a MAJOR difference between behavioral issues and mental illness issues even though both are so much alike. If we eliminate closeness, bonding, and affirmation from our daily communications with these kids and not discipline them properly when they are “acting up” and showing out then we’re creating uncontrollable, fearless, immoral monsters. I’m a firm believer that it starts at home. We need to do a trial and error there first to make a diagnosis from that standpoint. Instead I’m hearing left and right about a child presumed to be “mentally ill” for the way they drawn in, rage out -having these wild disorders developed from feeling alone, misunderstood, and unheard. 

Also until we address Bullying as a source of destruction to the human spirit in this day and age we will never get a grasp on what’s really killing today’s children. Nobody wants to feel alone, especially with a hurtful secret. It’s toxic and as it stores in the mind of the afflicted it becomes an internal poison that breaks down the soul of the individual. Meaning they are a walking emotional breakdown! But because we live in a society where you’re deemed weird or odd for showing your emotions outwardly (even in 2014) something is potentially “wrong” with the individual when many of us have our own problems keeping our emotions within. It’s truly what needs to be focused on and it will take more than 1 or 2 people to do alone. It takes a whole body of people to change their way of thinking. However way we can make that possible it definitely needs to happen. To speak from the place of mistreatment, abuse, belittlement, ostracization,   

 

What sparked this entry was Katie Couric’s talk show – 3pm today with its first segment on a young Caucasian boy whose parents didn’t know what to do with his emotional/behavioral issues and deemed him mentally ill (experts/themselves).

Doing Many Things And Completing Zip

I don't know how effective "multi-tasking" is when it wears a person out in the end. Seems like the only accomplishment that has been made is the depletion of energy of the body and soul. Should we prove that we're capable of doing so many things at once or is it better to show we can do many things, just not at the same time? I would like to say that I work my best doing one thing at a time very well and if I want to and able, will add on more. Success feels more rewarding to me when I know what I can handle and knowing when I can do more. Depending on how I'm feeling for the day I may just want to focus on one thing instead of a dozen others. We seem to cram so much in at once and we wonder why we resent what initially gave us pleasure in the first place. Just saying, what are we rushing for to complete by many deadlines at a time?!? Americans we are overworked. Adapting a new way of managing work could do us good.

GET A GRIP : Ladies, IT'S TIME TO GET REAL WITH IT [Mature Audiences]

Let's stop the lies that we are telling ourselves once and for all.

It's about time I decided to get this pen to work and actually talk about some real topics.
So let's begin with the #1 topic on the tops of females and males minds. SEX

After video and video of watching the same redundancy. The same innuendo in tv shows.
The same "I wish I had the stud in high school" scenario being played out over and over again on "reality" tv. Guys chasing tail and girls chasing the fool... Doesn't it all become rather stupid?

How long can the same actions be repeated before it really sinks in that it's NOT working?
I may be viewed as an "over-thinking, imaginative, idealist" but I'll tell you one thing - having some good damn sense never hurt nobody and it sure kept my ass out of a lot of stupid, wasteful, and troublesome situations.

This is for my ladies....I'm addressing this to you because I am one of you and maybe in my "idealist" mind it can help many of us get on track to where we belong in this wack society of "female empowerment" that is questionable.

If we are truly "empowered" then why are we still chasing and not allowing ourselves to be chased? It's just simple laws of nature. The male is the hunter and we are the "unfortunate" prey, or though it seems. When you look at it from that stand-point it sounds rather hopeless and degrading. We're more than just the animal getting caught and humped to death until the hunter has had enough. We are living breathing creatures with hearts, minds, and souls. And that's the truth. We deserve to be treated with the utmost respect of THE higher order of the animal kingdom as Queens on our thrones. And we deserve nothing less than a KING to rule beside us.

When I read or learn of a female "giving up her goodies" or her lady treasures to her man without so much as a reason why it burns me up when I realize she's been hanging onto the dude for years and he still hasn't made a real commitment to her. Commitment meaning he has not suggested he wants to be with her for the long run and actually MEANS it. Not living together, or in other words "shacking up", but actually putting an actual engagement ring on her finger (putting a damn ring on it!) and professing his intentions of a future with her. That is a solid deal. There are cases where the guy is mixed up and can't get his priorities straight and slip up a time or two but for the most part if he's going to make that big commitment to you then he means business. He sees you as a future life partner, the mother of his children, and a reason for being a man with real obligations and purpose.

Let me backtrack and emphasize this once more, "When a fellow woman or young lady gives up her lady treasures to her guy without so much as a reason why and it burns me up...." Let me tell you why. I may be completely wrong but there is a gut feeling I have that tells me some of it will register. If we're going to break it down to the simple idea of "Hunter and Prey" think about what it feels like when you accomplish something that you've worked so hard to achieve. Feels empowering doesn't it? Makes you feel you've gained something valuable. You've earned your damn keep...

Well that goes for the Hunter or "the male". If a guy feels that he has earned his stripes he is going to walk around proudly and treasure his accomplishment rather than have it handed to him on a silver platter. When was the last time you felt proud of having a reward handed to you without doing a damn thing for it?!?!! I bet you didn't know what to do with or could understand why you received it in the first place. If you're feeling me on this one then you will be able to follow my rant lol.

Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with giving a lil sumthin sumthin if the mood hits. That's the whole point, both sides need to be feeling it. But when one side is just handing it over then there's something very wrong with the scenario. That person is neglecting their needs and wants, lowering themselves to an insignificant place. I know this because in my life I'm always giving to those around me and in return I've been given everything other than the same equal return. You feel like shit. You continue to do it because you hope one day someone will treasure your giving and kindness. The problem with it is you never know when that day will come so you may spend your entire life just waiting, until it's over. So for me and you it's a lesson we need to cop to quick because let's face it, we deserve a hell of a lot more.

If it's your birthday ladies then let it be YOUR birthday, not his. If you find yourself giving him all the glory of the day then you f*cked up. I just have to be very candid here.... He should be the one showering you with gifts, making you feel special, giving you a damn lap dance, and stripping for YOU lol 
When I learn that a fellow woman is doing all those things plus extra on her special day ( and let's not forget every other holiday that counts like the anniversary of your relationship, Valentine's Day, i.e.) I know that she is fighting for something. What was there in the beginning that he was readily showing and proving to her diminished and she's trying to get it back. Somewhere along the line it dwindled down and there seems to be a distance or lack in chemistry. It's not as passionate, or lustful, or hot, whatever the case may be. We all know relationships have their ups and downs. It's life. We're all human. When you get used to something you sorta lose your attention on how precious and valuable it is until the worst happens. But you don't want it to get to that point.

I'm not an expert, just giving a perspective. Maybe the relationship is hot and the case may be you both may not be as compatible as you thought you were. Maybe it's a thing where he's bored and wants to try something else. Hurts Ladies I know, but you got to understand The Hunter. We know all the tricks of the trade but we ignore them and play the dumb damsel in distress. We allow ourselves to get hurt when we know what's going on. We cry, we whine, we beg, we plead, we grovel on the damn ground, and we get stupid jealous because we let our power get away from us. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest this so if any of you feel that it doesn't work feel free to share your thoughts because this is all a discussion we all need to have together. Period.

The next damn time you decide you're going to open your legs for a guy without him so much as earning the right to enter the kingdom of heaven really think about what you're doing.... We live in a time where 12 year olds and disgustingly younger than that are losing their damn virginity, just because of all the foolishness of our time: curiosity, lack of knowledge, no parental guidance, peer pressure, sexual explicit garbage on tv, profanity and suggestive content on regular damn cable tv...
Little kids are knowing far too much before their time and are already hip to shit that used to be back in the day strictly for adults only. SEX is treated as simply as pouring a glass of juice, meaning there's no "value" involved in it's meaning anymore. Everything is so desensitized.

But let me get back to my original point, there's beauty in the chalice that lies between our legs. It forbears life and it gives us the closet feeling to God that we can feel on this physical earth. Why does it deserve to be handed over as if it's a disposal?!?? Just tell me that...why does our bodies need to be treated as objects to leave gunk and stuff into as if we are not made of better?!!!? The next time you go find love with Mr. so and so with your (O.P.P) on display remember what he's thinking of after he's had it and didn't do a thing to earn it. You may have him again for a few more times but expecting a real connection and relationship to develop is a fool's game.

I don't know about you but unless I'm horny there's not going to be a rump in the forest. Ladies, it's time to let your man know about what makes you happy too. He can want it all day and night but unless you're in the mind-set too there is no mutual interaction. There's nothing worse than being in a situation you don't want to be in with your mind not in it. Remember how orgasms work? If you're not mentally there then it's just an object going in and out of you. What good is making love if it's just that, no feeling, just allowing yourself to be used that way? You might as well hang your womanhood up on a coat rack and never look back at it again. You DESERVE more. We are Queens.

Lastly let me emphasize this point once more, if a guys knows he has you then there's no going back to where it was before when he was pursuing you. I'm sure somewhere in the male manual it's possible but it will take a hell of an effort to get back to it. Continue being chased and being the prey because the ultimate power lies in your hands. You hold the scepter and to make the decision of whether you want to invest your valuable time in him or not. This is how I see it... it takes a lot more effort to chase and pursue than it is to be the one pursued. The Hunter or the male has to deal with his ego and whether or not he will be able to handle the blows if you say no or reject him. And if he's really diggin you it's even harder. When I was younger it annoyed me when random guys came up to me throwing lines and acting goofy because I didn't understand it and I didn't understand the power I possessed. IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME THEN YOU WILL FEEL LIKE "PREY" OR THE VICTIM.

If you keep him chasing you then you won't fail. Keep him on his toes. Don't have him believe he's got you wrapped around his finger and you're easy to take. There's no pride in the win. He will take what he wants, get tired of you quick, and throw your carcass back out to the wild for the vultures to pick all over it. Gruesome analogy lol but it got you thinking though, right? If you've noticed in your own relationships if not your girlfriends and the women in your family, you find yourself fighting for his attention and eventually turn into the nagging, fussy woman that you allowed yourself to become. When you look at it from the outside, like a fly on the wall, you'll see how crazy it looks. He's basically blocking you out, not hearing a damn thing you're saying, and you're just wasting your breath. He's got you whooped. He believes in his mind that he doesn't need to take the relationship to the next step, potentially marriage, because he's got everything he wants. The saying is 100% true, WHY BUY THE COW WHEN YOU CAN GET THE MILK FOR FREE. Yes, Yes, Yes and 100% Hallelujah. You ALL should be saying AMEN Sister! Why do YOU deserve to be wifey material when you've already gave all that you got? He has nothing to fight for. So he's riding the wave until you blow a gasket about when is he ever going to propose and ask you to marry him. He'll make you feel like you're overreacting and whatever other reasons he can come up with about why he hasn't done it. You don't know if he ever will and the indecisiveness of it all is deafening. 

We're learning and teaching our younger sisters and daughters to be the man's dream...to be this image, this walk, this talk, this hair, these eyes, lips, nose, legs, stomach, butt, every damn thing...
We're offering ourselves on a silver platter for their pleasure but they haven't given anything to deserve such rewards. Why are we DOING this? That's what we need to ask ourselves...WHY am I objectifying myself for a man's love and affections? I'll tell you this ladies because many of us have been subjected to this all our lives. When you grow up not understanding your real, true worth, not had anyone tell you you're worthy, special, beautiful, and all that you comprise of is valuable and should only be given to those who will respect it, then you become vulnerable to the evils of the world. You don't know what you've never understood. If your father was never in your life, left it at a certain age, died unexpectedly, abused you, molested you, or never talked to you about the world with males in it then you're missing one of the most valid, important messages of being alive on this earth as a female. I didn't have that "boy talk" with my father but I learned through observation, tried and true experiences, and learning from the women in my life about what it means to feel value and know what is valuable to me as a female and a woman. As women it is our duty to remind ourselves, each other, and our girls these things or we forfeit our own self-worth and dignity.

I don't have kids but if I ever have a daughter she will know directly from me what every part of her body should mean to her and how she should carry it. SEX is a part of life. It is life and we all need to stop acting like it's taboo with our youth. They are learning about it the wrong way that is harming and even killing them. It's our fault every time a kid gets a disease or gets pregnant super young because it could've been prevented if they received the attention and concern from us. AIDS is still a major factor whether or not there are medicines to treat it. It's still in our bodies and who deserves to live with the virus roaming in their bodies?!!? I know I'm talking about numerous things but my point is strictly just value your mind, body, and soul. A relationship should be healthy, meaningful, and trusting. When we notice our guys acting uninterested, it's not the time to start handing over our goodies, but to reevaluate the situation. If push comes to shove go back to basics - get to know each other all over again without SEX firsthand. Whatever happened to flirting, seduction, and making out? Do people even make-out anymore?!!!? I guess it gets too hot and heavy. But maybe that's the point, maybe there should be a form of sexual tension or resistance just to keep him wanting you. Give him a run for his money instead of handing it over. As long as both of you are on the same playing field then there's a chance of a future. Courtship is not dead. Kissing a lady's hand is not ancient. Opening up a door and letting a guy pull your chair out for you is not old-fashioned. It's respectable gentleman etiquette. It ain't the fact you can't do it yourself. It's allowing a man to be a man and be considerate to you because you deserve to be treated like a Queen.

 

To Commit And Not To Commit

 

Stacy Keibler Opens Up About George Clooney Breakup

Read more: http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/stacy-keibler-opens-up-about-george-clooney-breakup-2013167#ixzz2ZL6rQ7gH

Okay as if this picture does not speak volumes...

Mr. George Clooney why are you looking like an old man?!?!
I may be wrong but when they first got together I swore he was older than her. It had people wondering how this match came to be but with Clooney's reputation for being an older man going after women too young for his old butt I think I'm accurate. They lasted way longer than I predicted. But I'm still thinking back...wasn't he dating a dark haired woman who got hurt on a motorcycle accident with him (because he wanted to be a dare-devil bad ass)?!? If so he ran back to Stacy Keibler and she accepted him back. He's had so many women on his arm it doesn't make any sense. He's earned the reputation of Hollywood's playboy... I just don't get how a man can live his whole life without wanting to settle with one special woman and have a family. Isn't that what we all strive for? There must've been something that happened to him growing up that he has close-ties issues, marital fears. He's so old now that it would be shameful for him to get married and have kids now. He could but if it's a 20-30 something it will be foul and shameful. It's amazing how many people have put their liking of him as an actor over his very public relationship status. All I've ever heard is how handsome, sexy, and talented he is but waaay back in the day he said himself how no one paid him any attention. He was acting, young, and making a way and people didn't give him or his work the time of day. Now fast forward all these years and now he's one of the hottest men in Hollywood... so superficial that world is. For me, knowing about how he's handled his relationships turns me off about him and it's very hard for me to view him with admiration even if acting is what he's known for. We know too much about these people's relationships and issues that it clouds our judgement on what they should be known for. Any man that can run through women the way he has only turns me off...Kiebler could be my mother, aunt, sister, cousin, grandmother, or friend.. No one woman deserves to be used like that if they're expecting something to evolve out of their relationship. And in the same token I blame her too because she is not his first. How these women don't notice a man's reputation is a joke to me. Do your research. If a man has been known to be with past women on short-notice then don't think he won't do that mess to you. Maybe she wanted a hit and run, who knows... such a waste of time though when you can find a quality man.

THE DEMONS THAT LIVE INSIDE US

Your "Go-To". Support. Love. Family is suppose to mean everything. But what if you're not blessed with such a gift in your life? What if you have a family but they are everything you don't need in your life? Familia over Everything, right?

Just the other day Rodney King is found at the bottom of a pool. Tormented all his life by things unknown to us. It's tragic when the end can be so brutal. I think about my life story... the dysfunction. The disconnect. The built up anger... And wonder if I'm festering the mess inside of me.

It is impossible to believe it's not. Both of my parents, God help them, came from families where "Love and Family" did not mix. What I saw as a child was "surface matter". I didn't understand why we lived so far away from everyone. I was just mad as a child that I didn't have the closeness I wanted. I needed to feel complete. The truth of the matter is I didn't know who these people were. My mother's brothers, my father's mother, sister, and brother, my half brother and sister. Their family continuation didn't change much either.

I finally get the chance to "know" them for a few summers of my life when everything seemed good. I was happy to know I was connected to something I came from. But tell me why the tables turned leading up to my final years in high school? Seemed like everyone by this point separated emotionally and mentally from what was important in a family. What I didn't understand was it was always there....it just started to show it's ugly face.

By the time I graduated high school not a single person from my maternal or paternal side recognized my graduation. All I had was my mother, father, a friend I'm no longer close to, my bus driver, her mother --who is now deceased, a co-worker from working at Kroger and her housemate who looked for opportunity in all the wrong places. Those were the only people who congratulated me that one day in May.
It didn't make a difference when I graduated College in April 2007. Only my mom and dad were there. That's it. So what does family mean to me? It's very hard to say. I want to believe in what it means to be loved by a family... I want that for my life. I deserve it like anyone else, but I've never had it. I'm a lost wandering soul.

There has always been something upsetting me. I've covered it up- with the constant "you have a chip on your shoulder" or "it's going to come back on you" or "you have a bad attitude" thrown at me from my parents. I showed emotion like any other person but for some reason it was just "wrong" to my parents. I felt ashamed. Guilty. I put on a false face to show that I wasn't those things because what they said to me sounded so bad. I put all my time and energy into "proving" to those around me I was worthy. I was loyal. I was good. I was trustworthy. A good friend. Doing all of this left me used, taken for granted, made-fun of, and delusional to mistreatment. It left me alone feeling even more insecure than what I needed to feel.

I desperately wanted to feel "home" with the ones I loved. But it wasn't there. As I got older The unsettled emotions inside of me formed into infrequent rage. It wasn't all the time, just every blue moon the emotions festered up to surface. I lashed out on my parents at different times when I just couldn't take any more. I was holding onto what I had left--my own damn self. I cried many days and nights from feeling alone. No one understood what I felt --where I was coming from. If I wear my emotions on my sleeve then I do it proudly. What is a heart if we don't use it??? My parents were taught to build a fortitude to protect themselves because they experienced this indifference to family love in their youth.

When you have no where to turn what happens? You go straight to the wrong things that can torment and destroy you. For some reason I stayed away from those things. I am excessive when I like something but God must have been standing next to me every step of the way because no liquor came to my lips to induce me into a drunken stupor, no unexpected early babies, no promiscuity, no drugs or chain smoking bad habits, no failing bad grades, no cutting, no choking, no beating, no bullying... Nothing but my hope that my future will be different. That it will change. I stayed strong for myself because that's all I had. Whether someone believed in me or not it didn't matter if I didn't hold strong to my Self.

I seemed to run into many un-promising individuals. I still do to this day... which I'm believing must be my faith since birth. I just don't understand how it seems okay at first and then it ends sorely. I can talk to the person 1 day and everything is fine then wait a few months and I call them again... it may or may not be good. That will always be the mystery of my life. So the question that I can answer is- What about family to turn to? Ha..that's all I can say...

Even now at 27... the worst position I could be in. At home, no job, no money-- only a humble soul, the Lord to look to, and my mother working to provide for both of us-- there is no family support elsewhere. I could go into all these f* up details about that and why not? I have nothing to lose. My father passed in April 2008 and everything else seemed to slide downhill afterwards. There were promises of care, giving, love, and support when both families combined for the first time under one roof. Life is as it was before my father passed to this day. My mother and I, alone --endured a falling accident that required 911 to be called and an ambulance to arrive at the same time the basement flooded basically half way up the stairs during a major storm, severe sickness for two weeks, super weight gain, broken water heater in the winter, toxic job for two years with a vengeful, demeaning supervisor, unjust termination from an ungrateful job, and the intent from another to underhandedly terminate from constant viciousness from the supervisor. We went through some trials. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? It doesn't kill you --it just pains a good part of your happiness.

I would like to think I've matured in some kind of way. I've had experiences that hurt me. I wish I had more happy times and less heartbreak but maybe it contributes to my approach. If I want something I go after it. I work up the nerve to do things other people have called brave. I just don't see it that way. I guess being my own person has left me not afraid of certain things. I embrace my directness and blunt quality of saying what's on my mind and how I feel. I don't want to cower away from those qualities about myself. I'm tired of holding back what I feel for fear of how it will be perceived. I've been shunned for it. Those that take the time to get to know me will realize I mean well. I'm not maliciously trying to say things to hurt someone and cut them down. I've been bullied, ignored, mistreated, and misunderstood in my youth. It's not who I am.

I want to be more happy than sad. I like to make people laugh and enjoy the company of anyone who allows me to feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't feel that way around everyone so when I am around those people...watch out! It's like unleashing the dragon, seriously lol. I enjoy what's enjoyably good. I care about what people think, their opinions, their hopes, dreams, aspirations... We don't give each other enough time to enjoy each other for who we are. I notice how we get antsy and impatient when a person elaborates on something they're talking about. What's wrong with just listening? Do we know how to listen anymore? We are so quick to judge and get annoyed with someones' differences. We should do better. Yes there are times we may not be in the mood, but guess what? There is someone out here who may not want to deal with how we are sometimes. So it's a give or take.

What I take from my life is what I want in my future. I want to be in a family that exemplifies everything that was missing from mine. Seems to be the only way to do that is to marry into one. If that's the case I hope it happens. I don't mind it being his --or her family because honestly I don't know who I'll fall in love with. I'm not professing any form of sexuality, just being for real. But for any who question I am heterosexual. I know that I want to have the best relationship with my partner that I can have so marriage counseling is on my list. I will not carry the baggage of my childhood into another life to continue. The cycle must break somewhere and I want it to completely stop with me. Alot of the backlash I endured through my parents and their families existed before I was born. Even if it started while I was growing up I will not take the guilt for everyone's' misgivings towards each other. It's easy to blame the side of the family that lived well, had good education, and didn't have to worry about the government's support.
So that is the plan for myself. Until then I'm still dealing with the distance from my extended family. I've seen the light and if I allow it to run my life I'll turn bitter like them.

I may not seem to be an important factor to anyone but I thank God everyday for waking me up and allowing me to fulfill His need for me on this Earth. I don't know exactly what it is but I feel my best when I'm giving support and concern back to others. You don't even have to ask for it --I just do it. I'm probably still seeking that love and support that didn't come from my family. Regardless if it is or not I hope I'm bringing light into the lives of those around me. If I'm accomplishing that then that's all that matters. I still see rainbows and dance/sing to my own Self when I'm watching music videos on tv. It will get better. I have to believe it will.