Walking 9,221 steps for 3.5 miles from my house on the bicycle and golf cart path all around Lake Peachtree my social interaction begins. A warm day hitting close to 80 degrees but remained in the mid to high 70 degree mark. The time, close to 3:00 PM started my journey. No one around during this sunny time on this day of the week in April 2 days before the month of May begins on Saturday. I am wearing white soft cotton T by Talbots comfort wear capris, a loose breathable cotton top with flutter sleeves, elasticized string-tie neckline and elasticized waist. It is medium length. Brand Old Navy. White Red-outlined flowers against a purple background. My walking shoes, SKECHERS striped red and white, with worn down aerosol gel foot supports in worn down, bad shape needing replacing! Wore them anyways and felt it throughout the walk until the final stretch. Decided to wear my hot pink "gold" rimmed medium sized hoops from Talbots. Today I decided to wear an actual outfit instead of work out, walking attire. These days it doesn't matter whether I wear either. I'm still sweating in them! Then to the hamper it goes.
My calves hurt today! Hurt really bad. Not all my walking days are like this. I hate it when they are though. I made it 2 miles to the end of the road where the tiny residential park in that area rested. It was like approaching an oasis. I kept telling my feet in my mind, "C'mon don't give out on me! We're almost there then I will take my weight off of you", which is 186.2lbs. (Accurate reading from my visit to the Clinic Monday for my Annual Exam. 5'3 and 186.2lbs. Not Good. Need To Drop It!) Reaching the bench at the park was The Biggest Relief and I sat there for maybe 15 minutes. Listening to my favorite session TINY DESK. The performer Raphael Saadiq. The wind was rustling the leaves on the trees and it can be felt all around. Against my face, arms, and through my loose top. It felt nice! For a warm day these are the type of days that work for me. The sun is out but the clouds cover it at times making it less hot. The wind must be breezy with a slight coolness to it, not hot! For Heaven's sake, No! Never like the Sahara Desert. The time is approaching for it. By mid-May there's no hope for cool breezes after that. Nothing but the smoldering hallucinating dehydrating humidity of Georgia. Ain't no way you're going to catch me in that monster. Heeeellll Noooo Sir/Ma'm! I'm getting my steps in while I can.
Rotating my feet as I'm sitting at the bench there is a mother and daughter playing basketball in the caged court a distance away from me. I'm thinking, this must be "coach mommy" time. The daughter spent most of the time throwing balls and missing them. Running after each one quickly. It just felt like the right narrative. The woman had brown hair just like the girl did. Wearing typical "around the house" clothes, not like a coach. There were also some other people scattered, a couple of moms with their kids on the swings, a man and another kid on the slide. Appeared to be together. Bottles of water and a dark blue large lunch bag sitting on the park table and bench they chose to sit at. Mine was not far away but not close which I preferred. I keep my distance during this Pandemic. I can feel the numbing from walking on the bottoms of my feet. The muscles contracting in my calves. Listening to Saadiq perform his 36 minutes set with guest Lucky Daye. I rest my legs and feet for a moment to be present feeling nature around me. This is meditative. I am very Blessed to be able to do this especially during this time of day in this neighborhood. You would've never caught me saying anything like this when I was younger wanting nothing more than to get away.
This is strictly my observation... I have come to the realization as a female, a Black Female, the more engaging and social types from the non-social. When I see Caucasian White women there are 3 kinds I've seen so far, considering the area where I live. The single strolling or exercising White woman in her 40's into 60's. The single White female in her 30's. The group of 3-4 White females in their early to mid-40's.
Then there are the other groupings. White women in their 40's to early 50's with their partners, boyfriends, or husbands. Single strolling or jogging White men in their 50's. Solo White males running in their mid 30's to early 40's. Focused and determined male and female cyclists in their 50's on up. The silly stupidly reckless teenager driving erratically and/or driving too fast.
In my sole opinion I must tell the truth from what I feel and what seems to be the common thread in society through the repetition in media outlets. The blatant disregard the walking group of 3-4 White women I've experienced is real. It is very rare in these groups I'll receive a single "hello" by mouth movement and/or sound included or the simple easy greeting of hand waving as I walk by. One on the end closest to me will say something but don't expect the other 2 "snobs" to do it. It is truly a group mentality! I'm so glad I stand on my own as an individualist. No one can sway me to act differently from what feels honest and true to my nature. No one.
In this community waving is a common gesture. Most people do it out of friendliness, commonality, or just acknowledgement of another human. Not everyone will do it for many reasons that are rightful such as, "I don't know you, Don't feel like it, Don't care. No reason to do it." It's all justified. No one is obligated to do anything but it is considerable. It is not a requirement unfortunately to be "considerate" but Selfishly it is nice to receive it!
Being nice and kind is a personal trait, habit, and state of being. I realize people are not going to be this way. The millions of walks of life that exist, No Way! I don't know everybody on the planet, who does?!!? Who knows what someone is going through. Who knows what's going on in their head. For instance I walked across the bridge towards the end of a length of walking past the library and Lake Peachtree 3 different types of people in a row walked by me. 2 women walking in their 40's or 50's, a woman and man walking in their early to mid 60's, and 1 guy in his early 30's walking wearing dark shades a blue shirt and dark blue jogging pants. At least 1 person in these pairings waved except for the last one, the guy. He looked like he was in a daze or angry. Hard to tell when you're wearing black shades. Waved at him and he kept walking straight ahead like he wasn't up to engaging with anyone. Something was going on with him. I could sense it. Instead of letting it irk me my reasoning are all the things listed above and frankly, Who cares! I choose, "I don't know you" and "I don't care" as the response. This person has no significance in my life. But Hey, doesn't it just make you feel weird?!! You wave at someone and they don't return it back. I've experienced it so much I just say something under my breath. So yeah, I don't always take it so easily but it's soon forgotten. I'm listening to my music by the way. I'm Good!
This walking excursion I had to sit another time on this 10K pole walking path. On the other side of the lake it was truly Beautiful. The bench was facing the water and seeing the sun light flicker off the movement is one of the Most Wonderful things about nature. It is natural sparkle. To the right of me an elderly couple were sitting on a wooden sturdy swing. The left side of me when I first sat down 2 Black females, very young looking possibly in their early 20's or teenagers, sat in another similar swing set. Contently just looking at the water. Solemn but peaceful, I could tell. Limited people at this time of day at this spot. It can get congested depending on the day and time. Here and there a bike rider aka cyclist, a walker, a few kids with their moms. Before I knew it around 20 minutes later the 2 Black females got up and left and a White woman and her son sat in the swing leisurely eating what looked to be a treat of some kind, maybe yogurt or ice cream. The elderly couple still sitting in the swing nearby, just at ease, peaceful. And there I was sitting on the bench shaded fairly well from the sun by the tree and its leaves overhead. Someone's kid's shoes and socks left at the top of the back rest on the end. The breeze was lovely when it blew and I closed my eyes many times. Imagining what my future looked like with kids. Bringing them outdoors to spots like this and feeling a sense of joy a mother would feel. I tend to daydream Blissfulness and Perfection when I'm happy. Believing there is such a thing-A possibility. Whenever I let myself get too caught up in the idea it tends to backfire and show me what life really does look like when the eyes are open.
I still want to believe there is a chance at it even if it's only for a temporary amount of time. I want to hope it can last longer than a moment. There are people in this world who have found the fountain of youth and the point of this life-this physical existence. Be Happy. Find Happiness. You Don't Have To Live With Pain and Suffer. Do What You Can To Get Out of the Confines of Your Circumstance and Find Your Damn Happy. It is Too Beautiful Out Here Not To Be. Our God Gave Us So Much To Live For To Not Allow Ourselves To Have It.
To be human is to feel all the emotions that come with living this physical life. Denying our feelings only makes us suffer. We must experience all of them. But once we do, don't let it be long term. Allowing the heart to heal allows for Beauty to return and Grace Herself into one's life again. I think this is the hardest lesson for many people to grasp. Don't get me wrong, there are times it will be hard as hell, but after dwelling in that space for so long it gets tiresome. You feel weary and you want to breathe and be alive again. There comes a point where the suffering just eats you up and you're just f*cking sick of it. I chose to live and come out of my lowest point. It took 2 years to feel "normal" (even though I still have much healing to do) but I let God walk with me through it. Guide and bring me out. One day I felt my body change and I knew my body and soul were recovering. I still kept myself at a slow pace, not letting myself get too anxious and fearful of returning back to where I came from. I worked too hard to be ok. Eventually I felt better.
It looked like more company appeared when I turned my head again. 2 kids included! Energetic boy and girl. He had a band-aid on his knee. 1 indication of a "rough and tumble". Both of them eating a treat. The boy, thinking he could be risky walked down towards the lake. Where I sat the incline had rocks and I kept saying to myself, Child be careful. He walked along the rocks and got past them then walked further to the right looking back to make sure mommy wasn't watching. Typical boy. Then eventually his sister ran to where he was safely on the grass. Young girl having fun. Eventually I got up after listening to the rest of Raphael Saadiq (the part where he talks about never experiencing A Black Marching Band because his high school in East Oakland didn't have one- I 2nd that! And if he ever had the chance to make his own music A Tuba was going to be in a song to pay homage! Shout out to NOLA, New Orleans. I remember the song too. It was during the turn of the millennium. I was in high school and saw the music video either on BET or VH1 Soul) and feeling my last breeze off the lake and kept walking. I still had some corners to turn but the shade from the trees were worth the walk. Solo walking through a forest. Saw a couple of ducks walking my way. So close and cute. Looking up I noticed a few people parked with their golf cart in a shaded area near the lake. Animals in the wilderness these days are easier than I've ever known before. In my childhood they were nothing like this! Fearful & Timid. Generations change even with them!
As I reached a turning point a couple on a golf cart whizzed on by going straight. I watched them at my split in the path and it felt like a movie scene- 2 people traveling in one direction like a happily ever after scene. I'm so day-dreamy like that. Then I kept walking. Coming up on the left side of me a White man in his late 50's walking/jogging by waved easily and I waved back. Met a Black man in his mid 60's to 70's on a golf cart as I crossed a gritty messy recently cemented neighborhood road and he seemed all too pleasant enough to wave at me. I waved back of course. By the end of my walk there still wasn't many people around. It truly was a day meant for me. After turning the last bend walking past a couple in their 60's there were 2 women and their 2 daughters ahead of me. I decided instead of going roundabout, walking straight, cross a mini bridge, and go through a neighborhood to reach the same path going home, to walk across the waterway bridge. I took my earphones out my ears listening to TINY DESK Jazmine Sullivan (who sounds pretty darn good if I might say!) and listened to the rushing water admiring the architectural genius of the design. Rectangular flat surfaces with water spilling over the sides making this marvelous, loud, rushing water sound that has your mind in another realm. Next to them rectangular storage for the water you can see.
On the way home this group remained in front of me. Both girls seemed to be fascinated by my presence, somewhat lingering behind close to where I was walking. Their moms encouraging them to come on. 1 blonde girl with straight hair and the other possibly Hispanic with brown hair. Eventually they stayed with their mothers. We reached near to the end of my walking day at a stop sign. Somehow more people appeared on 2 sets of golf carts and a bike. I was taking my time in no rush. My legs and feet were tired but I felt energized like they were accustomed to the walking by this point and felt less strained. A line of cars appeared on the right side. A couple of cars on the left from the light turning on the highway. A white SUV stopped to let everyone cross and I knew I didn't want to rush across. Motioning for them to go I stayed to let these cars pass. It was around 4:00 PM there was some traffic. It wasn't as easy so I waited a moment with my empty water bottle bottom pressed to my lips. A car was spaced a part from another far but not too behind coming up until I could dart across the golf cart crossing. 2 golf carts were on the opposite side and I ended up having to jump the curb onto the grass due to the lack of path for me to walk on. Common for what I have to do to get home it seems.
The women and their daughters were further ahead and I felt a bit saddened by the thought they forgot about me, the solo female walking behind them. The girls I was thinking of closely walking with their mothers engaged, not at all aware of anything else. I walked up the last hill to the neighbor's driveway across from us, bid them farewell as they turned the corner, looked both ways before crossing the road, then jotted across. Skipped the mailbox and the empty garbage can. Just went straight inside using my key on the chain on my left wrist. Yelled I was home upstairs. Took off my glasses, walking meter, mobile phone with earphones, sat my empty bottle on the kitchen counter, and went straight to the bathroom. After that I was hot, my legs were still "moving" contracting muscles from the walk, went upstairs, took off my clothes. Yup, I'm a nudie. Put on my "after walking" loose tee, went back downstairs turned on the box fan in my direction, got a chair for balance, and did my "after walking" 4 step stretching exercises to avoid any stiffness and cramping the following days.
It's important to drink LOTS of water after what I did. Gulped a good portion then I was hungry! I only ate a banana and it was around 4 something. Experts say if you feel hungry after exercising your body is really saying its thirsty. Hunger and thirst are 1 in the same. The body can't tell it a part. You just have to know what your body is asking for and usually it is hydration. When I feel that starved feeling with gurgling sounds it's when I know I'm hungry. From last night after bringing in food from Dogwood Church pantry and washing the packaging with soap and water, I took out a cup of Kraft mac and cheese in the cup. Don't knock it until you try it! Follow my advice for creamy and soft noodles if you like this texture after reading. In the toaster oven discovered remaining hash browns and buttered toast, now softened. Ate it all in the "cleaned" kitchen (no dishes in the sink or stove-everything orderly put back into place).
Tip For Creamy And Soft Kraft Mac And Cheese In The Single Serving Instant Cup.
Patience Required. I know you're hungry but trust me it's worth it!
After adding water to the Fill-Line Pour in a small drizzle of Grapeseed oil or Olive oil.
Add The Powder Cheese In The Packet Then Stir Everything Together.
I Tried Adding Black Pepper To See How It Would Taste And It Was Fine.
If You Try This And Discover You Need More Salt To Taste Add A Few Pinches During This Process!
After It Is Done In The Microwave after 3 minutes Stir Again And Lay The Plastic Covering On Top.
Take A Light weight Covering such as a Microwave Spill Cover or Lid To A Pot and Place It Over It.
Let It Settle For 8-10 minutes. Come Back And You Will Have Creamy, Cheesy, Yummy Mac & Cheese.
You May end up Eating a 2nd cup. I've Been Tempted! Think of this as actually making Ramen or Nissan noodles in a cup. I use the same process with that too. The noodles taste fuller and the vegetables/meat seem more plump. The heat still retains but not as fiercely.
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