Let's stop the lies that we are telling ourselves once and for all.
It's about time I decided to get this pen to work and actually talk about some real topics.
So let's begin with the #1 topic on the tops of females and males minds. SEX
After video and video of watching the same redundancy. The same innuendo in tv shows.
The same "I wish I had the stud in high school" scenario being played out over and over again on "reality" tv. Guys chasing tail and girls chasing the fool... Doesn't it all become rather stupid?
How long can the same actions be repeated before it really sinks in that it's NOT working?
I may be viewed as an "over-thinking, imaginative, idealist" but I'll tell you one thing - having some good damn sense never hurt nobody and it sure kept my ass out of a lot of stupid, wasteful, and troublesome situations.
This is for my ladies....I'm addressing this to you because I am one of you and maybe in my "idealist" mind it can help many of us get on track to where we belong in this wack society of "female empowerment" that is questionable.
If we are truly "empowered" then why are we still chasing and not allowing ourselves to be chased? It's just simple laws of nature. The male is the hunter and we are the "unfortunate" prey, or though it seems. When you look at it from that stand-point it sounds rather hopeless and degrading. We're more than just the animal getting caught and humped to death until the hunter has had enough. We are living breathing creatures with hearts, minds, and souls. And that's the truth. We deserve to be treated with the utmost respect of THE higher order of the animal kingdom as Queens on our thrones. And we deserve nothing less than a KING to rule beside us.
When I read or learn of a female "giving up her goodies" or her lady treasures to her man without so much as a reason why it burns me up when I realize she's been hanging onto the dude for years and he still hasn't made a real commitment to her. Commitment meaning he has not suggested he wants to be with her for the long run and actually MEANS it. Not living together, or in other words "shacking up", but actually putting an actual engagement ring on her finger (putting a damn ring on it!) and professing his intentions of a future with her. That is a solid deal. There are cases where the guy is mixed up and can't get his priorities straight and slip up a time or two but for the most part if he's going to make that big commitment to you then he means business. He sees you as a future life partner, the mother of his children, and a reason for being a man with real obligations and purpose.
Let me backtrack and emphasize this once more, "When a fellow woman or young lady gives up her lady treasures to her guy without so much as a reason why and it burns me up...." Let me tell you why. I may be completely wrong but there is a gut feeling I have that tells me some of it will register. If we're going to break it down to the simple idea of "Hunter and Prey" think about what it feels like when you accomplish something that you've worked so hard to achieve. Feels empowering doesn't it? Makes you feel you've gained something valuable. You've earned your damn keep...
Well that goes for the Hunter or "the male". If a guy feels that he has earned his stripes he is going to walk around proudly and treasure his accomplishment rather than have it handed to him on a silver platter. When was the last time you felt proud of having a reward handed to you without doing a damn thing for it?!?!! I bet you didn't know what to do with or could understand why you received it in the first place. If you're feeling me on this one then you will be able to follow my rant lol.
Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with giving a lil sumthin sumthin if the mood hits. That's the whole point, both sides need to be feeling it. But when one side is just handing it over then there's something very wrong with the scenario. That person is neglecting their needs and wants, lowering themselves to an insignificant place. I know this because in my life I'm always giving to those around me and in return I've been given everything other than the same equal return. You feel like shit. You continue to do it because you hope one day someone will treasure your giving and kindness. The problem with it is you never know when that day will come so you may spend your entire life just waiting, until it's over. So for me and you it's a lesson we need to cop to quick because let's face it, we deserve a hell of a lot more.
If it's your birthday ladies then let it be YOUR birthday, not his. If you find yourself giving him all the glory of the day then you f*cked up. I just have to be very candid here.... He should be the one showering you with gifts, making you feel special, giving you a damn lap dance, and stripping for YOU lol
When I learn that a fellow woman is doing all those things plus extra on her special day ( and let's not forget every other holiday that counts like the anniversary of your relationship, Valentine's Day, i.e.) I know that she is fighting for something. What was there in the beginning that he was readily showing and proving to her diminished and she's trying to get it back. Somewhere along the line it dwindled down and there seems to be a distance or lack in chemistry. It's not as passionate, or lustful, or hot, whatever the case may be. We all know relationships have their ups and downs. It's life. We're all human. When you get used to something you sorta lose your attention on how precious and valuable it is until the worst happens. But you don't want it to get to that point.
I'm not an expert, just giving a perspective. Maybe the relationship is hot and the case may be you both may not be as compatible as you thought you were. Maybe it's a thing where he's bored and wants to try something else. Hurts Ladies I know, but you got to understand The Hunter. We know all the tricks of the trade but we ignore them and play the dumb damsel in distress. We allow ourselves to get hurt when we know what's going on. We cry, we whine, we beg, we plead, we grovel on the damn ground, and we get stupid jealous because we let our power get away from us. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest this so if any of you feel that it doesn't work feel free to share your thoughts because this is all a discussion we all need to have together. Period.
The next damn time you decide you're going to open your legs for a guy without him so much as earning the right to enter the kingdom of heaven really think about what you're doing.... We live in a time where 12 year olds and disgustingly younger than that are losing their damn virginity, just because of all the foolishness of our time: curiosity, lack of knowledge, no parental guidance, peer pressure, sexual explicit garbage on tv, profanity and suggestive content on regular damn cable tv...
Little kids are knowing far too much before their time and are already hip to shit that used to be back in the day strictly for adults only. SEX is treated as simply as pouring a glass of juice, meaning there's no "value" involved in it's meaning anymore. Everything is so desensitized.
But let me get back to my original point, there's beauty in the chalice that lies between our legs. It forbears life and it gives us the closet feeling to God that we can feel on this physical earth. Why does it deserve to be handed over as if it's a disposal?!?? Just tell me that...why does our bodies need to be treated as objects to leave gunk and stuff into as if we are not made of better?!!!? The next time you go find love with Mr. so and so with your (O.P.P) on display remember what he's thinking of after he's had it and didn't do a thing to earn it. You may have him again for a few more times but expecting a real connection and relationship to develop is a fool's game.
I don't know about you but unless I'm horny there's not going to be a rump in the forest. Ladies, it's time to let your man know about what makes you happy too. He can want it all day and night but unless you're in the mind-set too there is no mutual interaction. There's nothing worse than being in a situation you don't want to be in with your mind not in it. Remember how orgasms work? If you're not mentally there then it's just an object going in and out of you. What good is making love if it's just that, no feeling, just allowing yourself to be used that way? You might as well hang your womanhood up on a coat rack and never look back at it again. You DESERVE more. We are Queens.
Lastly let me emphasize this point once more, if a guys knows he has you then there's no going back to where it was before when he was pursuing you. I'm sure somewhere in the male manual it's possible but it will take a hell of an effort to get back to it. Continue being chased and being the prey because the ultimate power lies in your hands. You hold the scepter and to make the decision of whether you want to invest your valuable time in him or not. This is how I see it... it takes a lot more effort to chase and pursue than it is to be the one pursued. The Hunter or the male has to deal with his ego and whether or not he will be able to handle the blows if you say no or reject him. And if he's really diggin you it's even harder. When I was younger it annoyed me when random guys came up to me throwing lines and acting goofy because I didn't understand it and I didn't understand the power I possessed. IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME THEN YOU WILL FEEL LIKE "PREY" OR THE VICTIM.
If you keep him chasing you then you won't fail. Keep him on his toes. Don't have him believe he's got you wrapped around his finger and you're easy to take. There's no pride in the win. He will take what he wants, get tired of you quick, and throw your carcass back out to the wild for the vultures to pick all over it. Gruesome analogy lol but it got you thinking though, right? If you've noticed in your own relationships if not your girlfriends and the women in your family, you find yourself fighting for his attention and eventually turn into the nagging, fussy woman that you allowed yourself to become. When you look at it from the outside, like a fly on the wall, you'll see how crazy it looks. He's basically blocking you out, not hearing a damn thing you're saying, and you're just wasting your breath. He's got you whooped. He believes in his mind that he doesn't need to take the relationship to the next step, potentially marriage, because he's got everything he wants. The saying is 100% true, WHY BUY THE COW WHEN YOU CAN GET THE MILK FOR FREE. Yes, Yes, Yes and 100% Hallelujah. You ALL should be saying AMEN Sister! Why do YOU deserve to be wifey material when you've already gave all that you got? He has nothing to fight for. So he's riding the wave until you blow a gasket about when is he ever going to propose and ask you to marry him. He'll make you feel like you're overreacting and whatever other reasons he can come up with about why he hasn't done it. You don't know if he ever will and the indecisiveness of it all is deafening.
We're learning and teaching our younger sisters and daughters to be the man's dream...to be this image, this walk, this talk, this hair, these eyes, lips, nose, legs, stomach, butt, every damn thing...
We're offering ourselves on a silver platter for their pleasure but they haven't given anything to deserve such rewards. Why are we DOING this? That's what we need to ask ourselves...WHY am I objectifying myself for a man's love and affections? I'll tell you this ladies because many of us have been subjected to this all our lives. When you grow up not understanding your real, true worth, not had anyone tell you you're worthy, special, beautiful, and all that you comprise of is valuable and should only be given to those who will respect it, then you become vulnerable to the evils of the world. You don't know what you've never understood. If your father was never in your life, left it at a certain age, died unexpectedly, abused you, molested you, or never talked to you about the world with males in it then you're missing one of the most valid, important messages of being alive on this earth as a female. I didn't have that "boy talk" with my father but I learned through observation, tried and true experiences, and learning from the women in my life about what it means to feel value and know what is valuable to me as a female and a woman. As women it is our duty to remind ourselves, each other, and our girls these things or we forfeit our own self-worth and dignity.
I don't have kids but if I ever have a daughter she will know directly from me what every part of her body should mean to her and how she should carry it. SEX is a part of life. It is life and we all need to stop acting like it's taboo with our youth. They are learning about it the wrong way that is harming and even killing them. It's our fault every time a kid gets a disease or gets pregnant super young because it could've been prevented if they received the attention and concern from us. AIDS is still a major factor whether or not there are medicines to treat it. It's still in our bodies and who deserves to live with the virus roaming in their bodies?!!? I know I'm talking about numerous things but my point is strictly just value your mind, body, and soul. A relationship should be healthy, meaningful, and trusting. When we notice our guys acting uninterested, it's not the time to start handing over our goodies, but to reevaluate the situation. If push comes to shove go back to basics - get to know each other all over again without SEX firsthand. Whatever happened to flirting, seduction, and making out? Do people even make-out anymore?!!!? I guess it gets too hot and heavy. But maybe that's the point, maybe there should be a form of sexual tension or resistance just to keep him wanting you. Give him a run for his money instead of handing it over. As long as both of you are on the same playing field then there's a chance of a future. Courtship is not dead. Kissing a lady's hand is not ancient. Opening up a door and letting a guy pull your chair out for you is not old-fashioned. It's respectable gentleman etiquette. It ain't the fact you can't do it yourself. It's allowing a man to be a man and be considerate to you because you deserve to be treated like a Queen.
It's about time I decided to get this pen to work and actually talk about some real topics.
So let's begin with the #1 topic on the tops of females and males minds. SEX
After video and video of watching the same redundancy. The same innuendo in tv shows.
The same "I wish I had the stud in high school" scenario being played out over and over again on "reality" tv. Guys chasing tail and girls chasing the fool... Doesn't it all become rather stupid?
How long can the same actions be repeated before it really sinks in that it's NOT working?
I may be viewed as an "over-thinking, imaginative, idealist" but I'll tell you one thing - having some good damn sense never hurt nobody and it sure kept my ass out of a lot of stupid, wasteful, and troublesome situations.
This is for my ladies....I'm addressing this to you because I am one of you and maybe in my "idealist" mind it can help many of us get on track to where we belong in this wack society of "female empowerment" that is questionable.
If we are truly "empowered" then why are we still chasing and not allowing ourselves to be chased? It's just simple laws of nature. The male is the hunter and we are the "unfortunate" prey, or though it seems. When you look at it from that stand-point it sounds rather hopeless and degrading. We're more than just the animal getting caught and humped to death until the hunter has had enough. We are living breathing creatures with hearts, minds, and souls. And that's the truth. We deserve to be treated with the utmost respect of THE higher order of the animal kingdom as Queens on our thrones. And we deserve nothing less than a KING to rule beside us.
When I read or learn of a female "giving up her goodies" or her lady treasures to her man without so much as a reason why it burns me up when I realize she's been hanging onto the dude for years and he still hasn't made a real commitment to her. Commitment meaning he has not suggested he wants to be with her for the long run and actually MEANS it. Not living together, or in other words "shacking up", but actually putting an actual engagement ring on her finger (putting a damn ring on it!) and professing his intentions of a future with her. That is a solid deal. There are cases where the guy is mixed up and can't get his priorities straight and slip up a time or two but for the most part if he's going to make that big commitment to you then he means business. He sees you as a future life partner, the mother of his children, and a reason for being a man with real obligations and purpose.
Let me backtrack and emphasize this once more, "When a fellow woman or young lady gives up her lady treasures to her guy without so much as a reason why and it burns me up...." Let me tell you why. I may be completely wrong but there is a gut feeling I have that tells me some of it will register. If we're going to break it down to the simple idea of "Hunter and Prey" think about what it feels like when you accomplish something that you've worked so hard to achieve. Feels empowering doesn't it? Makes you feel you've gained something valuable. You've earned your damn keep...
Well that goes for the Hunter or "the male". If a guy feels that he has earned his stripes he is going to walk around proudly and treasure his accomplishment rather than have it handed to him on a silver platter. When was the last time you felt proud of having a reward handed to you without doing a damn thing for it?!?!! I bet you didn't know what to do with or could understand why you received it in the first place. If you're feeling me on this one then you will be able to follow my rant lol.
Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong with giving a lil sumthin sumthin if the mood hits. That's the whole point, both sides need to be feeling it. But when one side is just handing it over then there's something very wrong with the scenario. That person is neglecting their needs and wants, lowering themselves to an insignificant place. I know this because in my life I'm always giving to those around me and in return I've been given everything other than the same equal return. You feel like shit. You continue to do it because you hope one day someone will treasure your giving and kindness. The problem with it is you never know when that day will come so you may spend your entire life just waiting, until it's over. So for me and you it's a lesson we need to cop to quick because let's face it, we deserve a hell of a lot more.
If it's your birthday ladies then let it be YOUR birthday, not his. If you find yourself giving him all the glory of the day then you f*cked up. I just have to be very candid here.... He should be the one showering you with gifts, making you feel special, giving you a damn lap dance, and stripping for YOU lol
When I learn that a fellow woman is doing all those things plus extra on her special day ( and let's not forget every other holiday that counts like the anniversary of your relationship, Valentine's Day, i.e.) I know that she is fighting for something. What was there in the beginning that he was readily showing and proving to her diminished and she's trying to get it back. Somewhere along the line it dwindled down and there seems to be a distance or lack in chemistry. It's not as passionate, or lustful, or hot, whatever the case may be. We all know relationships have their ups and downs. It's life. We're all human. When you get used to something you sorta lose your attention on how precious and valuable it is until the worst happens. But you don't want it to get to that point.
I'm not an expert, just giving a perspective. Maybe the relationship is hot and the case may be you both may not be as compatible as you thought you were. Maybe it's a thing where he's bored and wants to try something else. Hurts Ladies I know, but you got to understand The Hunter. We know all the tricks of the trade but we ignore them and play the dumb damsel in distress. We allow ourselves to get hurt when we know what's going on. We cry, we whine, we beg, we plead, we grovel on the damn ground, and we get stupid jealous because we let our power get away from us. I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest this so if any of you feel that it doesn't work feel free to share your thoughts because this is all a discussion we all need to have together. Period.
The next damn time you decide you're going to open your legs for a guy without him so much as earning the right to enter the kingdom of heaven really think about what you're doing.... We live in a time where 12 year olds and disgustingly younger than that are losing their damn virginity, just because of all the foolishness of our time: curiosity, lack of knowledge, no parental guidance, peer pressure, sexual explicit garbage on tv, profanity and suggestive content on regular damn cable tv...
Little kids are knowing far too much before their time and are already hip to shit that used to be back in the day strictly for adults only. SEX is treated as simply as pouring a glass of juice, meaning there's no "value" involved in it's meaning anymore. Everything is so desensitized.
But let me get back to my original point, there's beauty in the chalice that lies between our legs. It forbears life and it gives us the closet feeling to God that we can feel on this physical earth. Why does it deserve to be handed over as if it's a disposal?!?? Just tell me that...why does our bodies need to be treated as objects to leave gunk and stuff into as if we are not made of better?!!!? The next time you go find love with Mr. so and so with your (O.P.P) on display remember what he's thinking of after he's had it and didn't do a thing to earn it. You may have him again for a few more times but expecting a real connection and relationship to develop is a fool's game.
I don't know about you but unless I'm horny there's not going to be a rump in the forest. Ladies, it's time to let your man know about what makes you happy too. He can want it all day and night but unless you're in the mind-set too there is no mutual interaction. There's nothing worse than being in a situation you don't want to be in with your mind not in it. Remember how orgasms work? If you're not mentally there then it's just an object going in and out of you. What good is making love if it's just that, no feeling, just allowing yourself to be used that way? You might as well hang your womanhood up on a coat rack and never look back at it again. You DESERVE more. We are Queens.
Lastly let me emphasize this point once more, if a guys knows he has you then there's no going back to where it was before when he was pursuing you. I'm sure somewhere in the male manual it's possible but it will take a hell of an effort to get back to it. Continue being chased and being the prey because the ultimate power lies in your hands. You hold the scepter and to make the decision of whether you want to invest your valuable time in him or not. This is how I see it... it takes a lot more effort to chase and pursue than it is to be the one pursued. The Hunter or the male has to deal with his ego and whether or not he will be able to handle the blows if you say no or reject him. And if he's really diggin you it's even harder. When I was younger it annoyed me when random guys came up to me throwing lines and acting goofy because I didn't understand it and I didn't understand the power I possessed. IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME THEN YOU WILL FEEL LIKE "PREY" OR THE VICTIM.
If you keep him chasing you then you won't fail. Keep him on his toes. Don't have him believe he's got you wrapped around his finger and you're easy to take. There's no pride in the win. He will take what he wants, get tired of you quick, and throw your carcass back out to the wild for the vultures to pick all over it. Gruesome analogy lol but it got you thinking though, right? If you've noticed in your own relationships if not your girlfriends and the women in your family, you find yourself fighting for his attention and eventually turn into the nagging, fussy woman that you allowed yourself to become. When you look at it from the outside, like a fly on the wall, you'll see how crazy it looks. He's basically blocking you out, not hearing a damn thing you're saying, and you're just wasting your breath. He's got you whooped. He believes in his mind that he doesn't need to take the relationship to the next step, potentially marriage, because he's got everything he wants. The saying is 100% true, WHY BUY THE COW WHEN YOU CAN GET THE MILK FOR FREE. Yes, Yes, Yes and 100% Hallelujah. You ALL should be saying AMEN Sister! Why do YOU deserve to be wifey material when you've already gave all that you got? He has nothing to fight for. So he's riding the wave until you blow a gasket about when is he ever going to propose and ask you to marry him. He'll make you feel like you're overreacting and whatever other reasons he can come up with about why he hasn't done it. You don't know if he ever will and the indecisiveness of it all is deafening.
We're learning and teaching our younger sisters and daughters to be the man's dream...to be this image, this walk, this talk, this hair, these eyes, lips, nose, legs, stomach, butt, every damn thing...
We're offering ourselves on a silver platter for their pleasure but they haven't given anything to deserve such rewards. Why are we DOING this? That's what we need to ask ourselves...WHY am I objectifying myself for a man's love and affections? I'll tell you this ladies because many of us have been subjected to this all our lives. When you grow up not understanding your real, true worth, not had anyone tell you you're worthy, special, beautiful, and all that you comprise of is valuable and should only be given to those who will respect it, then you become vulnerable to the evils of the world. You don't know what you've never understood. If your father was never in your life, left it at a certain age, died unexpectedly, abused you, molested you, or never talked to you about the world with males in it then you're missing one of the most valid, important messages of being alive on this earth as a female. I didn't have that "boy talk" with my father but I learned through observation, tried and true experiences, and learning from the women in my life about what it means to feel value and know what is valuable to me as a female and a woman. As women it is our duty to remind ourselves, each other, and our girls these things or we forfeit our own self-worth and dignity.
I don't have kids but if I ever have a daughter she will know directly from me what every part of her body should mean to her and how she should carry it. SEX is a part of life. It is life and we all need to stop acting like it's taboo with our youth. They are learning about it the wrong way that is harming and even killing them. It's our fault every time a kid gets a disease or gets pregnant super young because it could've been prevented if they received the attention and concern from us. AIDS is still a major factor whether or not there are medicines to treat it. It's still in our bodies and who deserves to live with the virus roaming in their bodies?!!? I know I'm talking about numerous things but my point is strictly just value your mind, body, and soul. A relationship should be healthy, meaningful, and trusting. When we notice our guys acting uninterested, it's not the time to start handing over our goodies, but to reevaluate the situation. If push comes to shove go back to basics - get to know each other all over again without SEX firsthand. Whatever happened to flirting, seduction, and making out? Do people even make-out anymore?!!!? I guess it gets too hot and heavy. But maybe that's the point, maybe there should be a form of sexual tension or resistance just to keep him wanting you. Give him a run for his money instead of handing it over. As long as both of you are on the same playing field then there's a chance of a future. Courtship is not dead. Kissing a lady's hand is not ancient. Opening up a door and letting a guy pull your chair out for you is not old-fashioned. It's respectable gentleman etiquette. It ain't the fact you can't do it yourself. It's allowing a man to be a man and be considerate to you because you deserve to be treated like a Queen.
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